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Strangers under the same roof?
Does every dinner with your parents seem to turn
into a battle? Have your once warm and open conversations
become cold and guarded? Do you feel that you just cannot
see eye to eye with them on anything? You are not alone.
Heated arguments and cold silences are common between
teenagers and their parents.
Teenagers’ physical changes may result in such
family tensions. You may feel anxious that you are
developing at a different rate to your friends, shooting
up in height or getting left far behind. You might worry
about your changing voice, weight problems or spots. When
it all gets too much, your parents are often the first
targets of your anger.
It can be a big headache to balance your
developing mental needs too. You enter a strange middle
ground—no longer a small child but not quite an adult.
You have both a new desire for independence and a
continued need for your parents’ love and support. You
feel ready to be more responsible and make decisions on
your own. Unfortunately, your parents do not always agree
and that makes you feel unhappy. “Why can’t they just

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let me go?” you may wonder. On the other hand, when you
are struggling to control your feelings, you wish they
could be more caring and patient—sometimes they forget
that growing up is a rough ride. It can be difficult when
your parents treat you like a child but expect you to act
like an adult. All of this can lead to a breakdown in your
relationship.
Although sometimes it may seem impossible to get
along as a family, you can take action to improve the
situation. The key to keeping the peace is regular and
honest communication. When you disagree with your parents,
take a minute to calm down and try to understand the
situation from their point of view. Perhaps they have
experienced something similar and do not want you to go
through the same pain. After you have thought it through,
explain your actions and feelings calmly, listen
carefully, and address their concerns. Through this kind
of healthy discussion, you will learn when to back down
and when to ask your parents to relax their control.
Just remember that it is completely normal to
struggle with the stress that parent-child tensions
create, and that you and your parents can work together to

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improve your relationship. The good news is that this
stormy period will not last. Everything will turn out all
right in the end, and the changes and challenges of your
teenage years will prepare you for adulthood.

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